You Might Be in Emergency Medicine If

Sent to me by a buddy who knew I used to be an EMT -- in 1995. Funny how the world goes around: I'm an EMT again, and here we are in the middle of a big healthcare debate....

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You Might Be in Emergency Medicine If:

  • you believe in aerial spraying of Prozac.

  • discussing dismemberment over a gourmet meal seems perfectly normal to you.

  • you have the bladder capacity of five normal people.

  • you can identify the positive teeth to tattoo ratio.

  • your idea of a good time is a cardiac arrest at shift change.

  • you disbelieve 90% of what you are told and 75% of what you see.

  • you have your weekends off planned a year in advance. (?? What's a weekend?)

  • you believe that "Shallow Gene Pool" should be a diagnosis.

  • you believe the government should require a permit to reproduce.

  • you believe that unspeakable evil will befall you if the phrase "Wow, it's really quiet" is uttered.

  • when someone calls you a bastard, you take it as a compliment.

  • when you are out in public you compliment a complete stranger on their good veins.

  • you have ever referred to someone's death as a transfer to the "Eternal Care Unit".

  • you have ever referred to someone's death as a "Celestial Discharge".

  • you refer to someone in respiratory distress as a "Smurf".

  • your idea of a really good time is Duelling Defibrillators.

  • you have ever wanted to hold a seminar entitled "Suicide: Getting it Right".

    Posted August 14, 2009

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