Jumbo Joke: Humor the Way You Like It

You Might Be a Redneck Jedi If

• Your Jedi robe is a Camouflage color.

• You have ever used your Light Saber to open a bottle of Boone's Farm Strawberry Hill.

• You think the best use of your light saber is picking your teeth.

• At least one wing of your X-Wing is primer colored.

• There is a blaster rack in the back of your landspeeder.

• You can easily describe the taste of an Ewok.

• You can find no grammatical errors in the way Yoda talks.

• You think that the Stormtroopers Elite Guards are just KKK members with really good sheets.

• A peaceful meditation session is one without gas.

• You can levitate yourself using a force from within, but not The Force.

• Your master ever said "My finger you will pull..hmmm?"

• You have ever had an X-wing up on blocks in your yard.

• You ever lost a hand during a light-saber fight because you had to spit.

• You have bantha horns on the front of your landspeeder.

• The worst part of spending time on Dagoba is the dadgum skeeters.

• Wookies are offended by your B.O.

• You have ever used the force to get yourself another beer so you didn't have to wait for a commercial.

• You have ever used the force in conjunction with fishing/bowling.

• You have ever used a light-sabre to clean fish or open a non-twist-off bottle of beer.

• Your father has ever said to you, "Shoot, son come on over t' the dark side...it'll be a hoot."

• You have ever had your R-2 unit use its self-defense electro-shock thingy to get the bar-b-q grill to light.

Posted October 19, 2009 6:00 AM