You Know You Are In A Redneck Church If

  • You Know You're in a Redneck Church if... people ask, when they learn that Jesus fed the 5,000, whether the two fish were bass or catfish, and what bait was used to catch 'em.
  • You Know You're in a Redneck Church if... when the pastor says, "I'd like to ask Bubba to help take up the offering," five guys and two women stand up.
  • You Know You're in a Redneck Church if... opening day of deer season is recognized as an official church holiday.
  • You Know You're in a Redneck Church if... A member of the church requests to be buried in his 4-wheel-drive truck because "It ain't never been in a hole it couldn't get out of."
  • You Know You're in a Redneck Church if... The congregation of 500 members only has seven last names in the church directory.
  • You Know You're in a Redneck Church if... people think "rapture" is what you get when you lift something too heavy.
  • You Know You're in a Redneck Church if... the baptismal pool is a #2 galvanized washtub.
  • You Know You're in a Redneck Church if... the collection plates are hubcaps from a 56 Chevy.
  • You Know You're in a Redneck Church if... instead of bells, you are called to service by a duck call.
  • You Know You're in a Redneck Church if... the minister and his wife drive matching pickup trucks.
  • You Know You're in a Redneck Church if... the communion wine is Boone's Farm "Strawberry Hill".
  • You Know You're in a Redneck Church if... that "Thou shall not covet" thing applies to huntin' dogs, too.
  • Posted October 23, 2015

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