Will I Live to See 80?

The last time I ran a health joke, a buddy wrote to say he was catching up on e-mail as he walked on his treadmill -- and was so dejected at the first paragraph that he sent me a one word reply: "Sigh."

With that, let me bum my friend out just a bit more!

- - -

I recently picked a new primary care doctor. After two visits and exhaustive lab tests, he said I was doing "fairly well" for my age.

A little concerned about that comment, I couldn't resist asking him, "Do you think I'll live to be 80?"

He asked, "Do you smoke tobacco, or drink beer or wine?"

"Oh no," I replied. "I'm not doing drugs, either!"

Then he asked, "Do you eat rib-eye steaks and barbecued ribs?"

I said, "No, my former doctor said that all red meat is very unhealthy!"

"Do you spend a lot of time in the sun, like playing golf, sailing, hiking, or bicycling?"

"No, I don't," I said.

He asked, "Do you gamble, drive fast cars, or have a lot of sex?"

"No," I said. "I don't do any of those things."

He looked at me and said, "Then, why the hell do you want to live another 20 years?"

Posted November 24, 2008

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