Why Men Are So Happy

Category: Men/Women

It's easier to see why men are happier than women -- at least, from their point of view. One woman's list:

  • Your last name stays put.

  • The garage is all yours.

  • Wedding plans take care of themselves.

  • Chocolate is just another snack.

  • You can be president.

  • You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park.

  • Car mechanics tell you the truth.

  • The world is your urinal.

  • You never have to drive to another gas station because this one's just too icky.

  • Same work, more pay.

  • Wrinkles add character.

  • Wedding dress - $5000; tux rental - $100.

  • People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them.

  • The occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected.

  • New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet.

  • One mood all the time.

  • Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.

  • You know stuff about tanks.

  • A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase.

  • You can open all your own jars.

  • You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.

  • If someone forgets to invite you to something, he or she can still be your friend.

  • Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack.

  • Everything on your face stays its original color.

  • Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.

  • You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut or a bolt.

  • You almost never have strap problems in public.

  • You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes.

  • The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades.

  • You don't have to shave below your neck.

  • Your belly usually hides your big hips.

  • One wallet and one pair of shoes, one color, all seasons.

  • You can "do" your nails with a pocketknife.

  • You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache.

  • You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives, on December 24, in 45 minutes.

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