Jumbo Joke: Humor the Way You Like It

Why Men Are So Happy

It's easier to see why men are happier than women -- at least, from their point of view. One woman's list:

• Your last name stays put.

• The garage is all yours.

• Wedding plans take care of themselves.

• Chocolate is just another snack.

• You can be president.

• You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park.

• Car mechanics tell you the truth.

• The world is your urinal.

• You never have to drive to another gas station because this one's just too icky.

• Same work, more pay.

• Wrinkles add character.

• Wedding dress - $5000; tux rental - $100.

• People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them.

• The occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected.

• New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet.

• One mood all the time.

• Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.

• You know stuff about tanks.

• A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase.

• You can open all your own jars.

• You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.

• If someone forgets to invite you to something, he or she can still be your friend.

• Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack.

• Everything on your face stays its original color.

• Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.

• You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut or a bolt.

• You almost never have strap problems in public.

• You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes.

• The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades.

• You don't have to shave below your neck.

• Your belly usually hides your big hips.

• One wallet and one pair of shoes, one color, all seasons.

• You can "do" your nails with a pocketknife.

• You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache.

• You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives, on December 24, in 45 minutes.

Posted April 8, 2005 1:39 PM