Why John Kerry Lost

During his campaign, John Kerry visited the biggest Catholic church in Boston.

Kerry's campaign manager made a visit to the Cardinal and said to him, "We've been getting a lot of bad publicity among Catholics because of Kerry's position on abortion and the like. We'd gladly make a contribution to the church of $100,000 if during your sermon you'd say John Kerry is a saint."

The Cardinal thinks it over for a moment and agrees to do it.

Kerry shows up with the press in tow, and as the Mass progresses the Cardinal begins his homily.

"John Kerry is petty, a self absorbed hypocrite and a nitwit," the preacher says, stunning everyone into silence. "He is a liar, a cheat, and a thief. He is the worst example of a Catholic I've ever personally known."

At this point, Kerry's campaign manager stands up as if to say something.

But," the priest says, holding up a finger, "compared to Ted Kennedy, John Kerry is a saint."

Posted February 2, 2005

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