USPS: "We Deliver For You!"
The U.S. Postal Service is actually one of the best postal services in the world, especially for what it costs to send a letter thousands of miles. But sometimes, you just have to laugh at the things they do.
My friend Tom Geller (see contact info at the bottom) sent this to me. He got a plastic envelope in the mail. On the envelope was printed the following:
DEAR POSTAL CUSTOMER:
We realize your mail is important to you and you have every right to expect it to be delivered intact and in good condition. The Postal Service makes every effort to properly handle the mail entrusted to it but, due to the large valume, occasional damage may occur.
When a Post Office handles in excess of 8 million pieces of mail daily, it is imperative that mechanical methods be used to maintain production and ensure prompt delivery of the mails. Damage can occur if mail is insecurely enveloped or bulky contents are enclosed. When this occurs and our machinery is jammed, it often causes damage to other mail that was properly prepared.
We are constantly striving to improve our processing methods to assure that an occurrence such as the enclosed can be eliminated. We appreciate your concern over the handling of your mail and sincerely regret the inconvenience you have experienced.
PROCESSING & DISTRIBUTION CENTER
SAN FRANCISCO, CA 94188-9997
OK, so so what the heck was inside?! Well...
Inside was a postcard. If you can't read it clearly enough, it's from -- yes -- the U.S. Postal Service. The card reads:
Dear Valued Customer:
Hello, I am the Consumer Advocate for the U.S. Postal Service and I would like to ask a favor of you that may help us provide you and other customers with improved service.
In a few days, you will receive a survey from us asking your opinion on how well the Postal Service has been serving you over the past 30 days. We will use the results of the survey to benchmark the quality of service we are providing and to help us improve.
The survey is completely voluntary. The results are confidential and should take only ten minutes or so to complete. I hope you will accept our invitation to participate.
We appreciate your business and look forward to hearing from you.
Michael F. Spates
Acting Vice President
Reprinted with permission from Tom Geller's blog -- which has quite the stack of comments following!
Posted April 29, 2005