The "Unanswerable" Questions 2

The first Unanswerable Questions list had my answers to supposedly impossible-to-answer questions. I found a "new" list* (some of the questions were repeats; I deleted them), so now I'll answer those, too. With luck, people will realize that just because someone says a question is "unanswerable" doesn't mean it is!

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Why is it considered necessary to nail down the lid of a coffin?

To keep people out!

Why does the sun lighten our hair, but darken our skin?

Because hair is "dead" but our skin is very much alive, and is trying to protect itself. Still, damage is damage.

Why can't women put on mascara with their mouth closed?

Just because you can't doesn't mean everyone can't.

Why don't you ever see the headline "Psychic Wins Lottery"?

Because there are no real psychics, and this is one piece of evidence to prove that!

Why is a boxing ring square?

Because that's the shape that's preferred. I suppose your real question is, why do we call something square a "ring"? Tradition. Fighting rings indeed used to be round. (There was history before you were born, yaknow!)

Why is it called lipstick if you can still move your lips?

Because it comes in stick form. It's not called lipstuck, dipstick!

Why is it that rain drops but snow falls?

Rain doesn't "drop", it falls. Individual bits of rain are called drops; individual bits of snow are called flakes. Neither has anything to do with how they get onto your pointy head.

Why is it that when you're driving and looking for an address, you turn down the volume on the radio?

Because the radio is distracting (and so are cell phones!), which is something you should understand during all phases of driving, McCrash!

Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor, and dishwashing liquid made with real lemons?

They're not, so stop eating the dishwashing soap.

Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?

It's a fair warning. And you didn't heed it when you invested your 401K, did you?

Why is the third hand on the watch called second hand?

Because it counts seconds, just like the minute hand counts minutes and the hour hand counts hours.

Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour?

Because everyone is rushing to get home. That's why there's so much traffic!

Why is the word dictionary in the dictionary?

Because it's a word, and a dictionary is a book that defines words. Tip: buy one -- and use it.

Why isn't there a special name for the tops of your feet?

There is. You don't know it?!

Why can't they make the whole plane out of the same substance that little indestructible black box is?

They can -- but the resulting plane would be so expensive no one could afford it, and so heavy it wouldn't be able to fly.

Why do you need a driver's license to buy liquor when you can't drink and drive?

You don't need a driver's license to buy liquor. You need ID to prove your age. Which, I agree, is dumb -- you should have to prove your IQ.

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Posted May 21, 2014

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