Twenty Dollars

On their wedding night, the young bride approached her new husband and asked for $20 for their lovemaking encounter. Her husband readily agreed.

It set a precedent -- this scenario was repeated each time they made love for more than 40 years, with him thinking that it was a cute way for her to afford new clothes and other incidentals that she needed.

Arriving home around noon one day, she was surprised to find her husband in sitting at the kitchen table, head in his hands. During the next few minutes, he explained that with the economy shattered, General Motors had laid him off from his well-paid management position. It was unlikely that, at the age of 59, he'd be able to find another position that paid anywhere near what he'd been earning, and because he had counted on his pension, he never invested any money and they were financially ruined.

Calmly, his wife handed him a bank book which showed more than 40 years of steady deposits and interest -- the total nearly $1 million. The husband was starting to get rather excited, but then she showed him certificates of deposits issued by the bank which were worth over $2 million, and informed him that they were one of the largest depositors in the local bank.

She explained that for the more than three decades she had "charged" him for sex, these holdings had multiplied and these were the results of her careful savings.

Faced with evidence of cash and investments worth over $3 million, her husband was so astounded he could barely speak, but finally he found his voice and blurted out, "If I'd had any idea what you were doing, I would have given you all my business!"

They found him submerged in Lake Erie, in his favorite Chevy. Some men just don't know when to keep their mouths shut.

Posted November 14, 2008

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