Tiger Woods Oneliners
When Tiger Woods crashed his car into a fire hydrant outside his home in the middle of the night, at first his wife was reported to have used his golf club to smash him out of the car to rescue him. Later reports indicated that the gorgeous model had used the club on Tiger before he crashed -- rumors have it he had multiple mistresses. Apparently Woods is a Tiger in the sack, too.
So with that, we have several Tiger Woods one-liners.
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Q: What does Tiger Woods have in common with baby seals?
A: They both get clubbed by Norwegians.
That's the first time Tiger Woods has failed to drive at least 300 yards.
Tiger Woods crashed into a fire hydrant and a tree -- he couldn't decide between a wood and an iron.
Perhaps Tiger should have used a driver.
When the cops asked Tiger's wife how many times she hit him, she said, "I can't remember -- put me down for a five."
I find it's a nightmare driving at 2:30 am: sometimes you can't see the Woods for the trees.
Tiger's wife went for him after he scored a birdie.
What was the second worst part of Tiger's car accident? The police found the driver in the trunk.
Q: What were Tiger Woods and his wife doing out at 2:30 in the morning?
A: His wife wanted to go clubbing.
Formerly known as "Tiger", now known as "Cheetah".
Q: What's the difference between a car and a golf ball?
A: Tiger can drive a ball 400 yards.
and...
Hollywood is already making a movie of Tiger's middle years --
"Crouching Tiger, Hidden Hydrant"
(See also Al Sharpton Blasts Tiger Woods for Lack of Mistress Diversity on this site.)
Posted December 4, 2009 12:00 PM
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