Thoughts on New Orleans
Category: Urban Legend & Weather
This has been attributed to George Carlin, and New Orleans blues musician Bill Boudreaux, but apparently neither wrote it. There are several versions, and it's not a joke; rather, it's some thought-provoking plain speaking about the aftermath of Hurricane Katrina.
---
Been sitting here with my ass in a wad, wanting to speak out about what's going on in New Orleans. For the people of New Orleans... First I would like to say, Sorry for your loss.
Unlike an earthquake, we know when a hurricane is coming. With that said, Let's go through a few hurricane rules:
#1. A mandatory evacuation means just that. Get the hell out. Don't blame the Government after they tell you to go. If they hadn't said anything, I can see the argument. They said get out. If you didn't, it's your fault, not theirs. Even if you don't have a car, you can get out.
#2. If there is an emergency, stock up on water and non-perishables. If you didn't do this, it's not the government's fault you're starving.
#3. If you run out of food and water, find a store that has some. Remember, shoes, TVs, DVDs and CDs are not edible. Leave them alone.
#4. If the local store is too looted of food or water, leave your neighbor's TV and stereo alone (See #3). They worked hard to get their stuff. Just because they were smart enough to leave during a mandatory evacuation, doesn't give you the right to take their stuff; it's theirs, not yours.
#5. If someone comes in to help you, don't shoot at them and then complain no one is helping you. I'm not getting shot to help save some dumbass who didn't leave when told to do so.
#6. If you are in your house that is completely under water, your belongings are probably too far gone for anyone to want them. If someone does want them, let them have them and hopefully they'll die in the filth. Just leave! (It's New Orleans, find a voodoo warrior and put a curse on them.)
#7. My tax money shouldn't go to rebuild a city that is under sea level. Why build your house on quicksand a second time? My tax money should not pay to rebuild a 2 million dollar house, a sports stadium or a floating casino either. You want to live below sea-level, join the Navy.
#8. Regardless what the Poverty Pimps want you to believe, The U.S. Government didn't create the Hurricane as a way to eradicate the black people of New Orleans. The U.S. Government didn't cause global warming that caused the hurricane, either. We've been coming out of an ice age for over 10,000 years.
#9. This is the land of the free and the home of the brave, but you gotta work for what you want. The government isn't responsible for giving you anything. You gotta work for what you want. McDonalds and Walmart are always hiring, get a damn job and stop spooning off the people who are actually working for a living.
President Kennedy said it best... "Ask not what your country can
do for you, ask what you can do for your country."
Thank you for allowing me to rant.
Like this joke? Link to it from your web site or blog -- just copy/paste this HTML:
Go To:
Category: Urban Legend -- Prev: Aircraft Maintenance | Next: The Saga of the Hotel Soaps
Jumbo Joke is a free service of This is True, featuring bizarre-but-true news items from the world's press.
Check the site for archives and free subscriptions.