The Young Gunslinger

An old woman walked up and tied her old mule to the hitching post. As she stood there, brushing some of the dust from her face and her clothes, a young gunslinger stepped out of the saloon with a gun in one hand and a bottle of whiskey in the other. The gunslinger looked at the old woman and laughed, saying "Hey, old woman, have you ever danced?"

The old woman looked up at the gunslinger and said, "No ... I never did dance ... never really wanted to."

A crowd had gathered as the gunslinger grinned and said, "Well, you old bag, you're gonna dance now," as he started shooting at the old woman's feet.

The old woman, a prospector -- not wanting to get her feet blown off -- started hopping around. Everyone was laughing when his last bullet had been fired, and when the young gunslinger, still laughing, holstered his gun and turned around to go back into the saloon.

The old woman turned to her pack mule, pulled out a double-barreled shotgun, and cocked both hammers. The loud clicks carried clearly through the desert air, and the crowd stopped laughing immediately.

The gunslinger heard the clicks, too, and he turned around very slowly. The silence was almost deafening. The crowd watched as the young gunman stared at the old woman and the large gaping holes of the twin shotgun barrels.

The barrels of the shotgun never wavered in the old woman's hands as she quietly said, "Son, have you ever kissed a mule's ass?"

The gunslinger swallowed hard and said, "No, ma'am. But I've always wanted to."

There are five morals to this story:

1 - Never be arrogant.
2 - Don't waste ammunition.
3 - Whiskey makes you think you're smarter than you are.
4 - Always make sure you know who has the power.
5 - Don't mess with old people; they didn't get old by being stupid.

Posted September 23, 2015

« 35th Wedding Anniversary | Home | Random | Satan Complains God Isn't Fair »

Category: Idiot -- Prev: The Purina Diet | Next: Idiot Sightings
Category: Retired life -- Prev: Parking Tickets | Next: The Meaning of Life