Jumbo Joke: Humor the Way You Like It

The Wit of Ronald Reagan

I got some whining about The 10 Stupidest Things President George W. Bush Has Ever Said. It was the usual bit about being "anti-Republican". Well, here's a nostalgic look back at someone who was a bit clearer on what that "Republican" thing was in the first place.

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"The nearest thing to eternal life we will ever see on this earth is a government program."
--Ronald Reagan

"Here's my strategy on the Cold War: We win, they lose."
--Ronald Reagan

"The most terrifying words in the English language are: I'm from the government and I'm here to help."
--Ronald Reagan

"Government is like a baby: An alimentary canal with a big appetite at one end and no sense of responsibility at the other."
--Ronald Reagan

"Of the four wars in my lifetime none came about because the U.S. was too strong."
--Ronald Reagan

"The taxpayer: That's someone who works for the federal government but doesn't have to take the civil service examination."
--Ronald Reagan

"The trouble with our liberal friends is not that they're ignorant: It's just that they know so much that isn't so."
--Ronald Reagan

"I've laid down the law, though, to everyone from now on about anything that happens: no matter what time it is, wake me, even if it's in the middle of a Cabinet meeting."
--Ronald Reagan

"It has been said that politics is the second oldest profession. I have learned that it bears a striking resemblance to the first."
--Ronald Reagan

"Government's view of the economy could be summed up in a few short phrases: If it moves, tax it. If it keeps moving, regulate it. And if it stops moving, subsidize it."
--Ronald Reagan

"Politics is not a bad profession. If you succeed there are many rewards, if you disgrace yourself you can always write a book."
--Ronald Reagan

"No arsenal, or no weapon in the arsenals of the world, is so formidable as the will and moral courage of free men and women."
--Ronald Reagan

"If we ever forget that we're one nation under God, then we will be a nation gone under."
--Ronald Reagan

Posted November 3, 2006 3:00 PM