The Golfing Hit Man
Three guys at a classy golf course are waiting for their friend to show up in order to complete their foursome.
After waiting several minutes and at risk of losing their tee time, the three notice an oddball standing by the clubhouse all by himself, carrying a bag of clubs.
The three of them look at each other, shrug their shoulders and figure, "Why not?"
They ask the stranger if he would like to play with them, and he agrees. While playing on a green, one guy asks, "So, what do you do for a living?"
The guy responds, "I'm a hit man."
Not believing him, they begin to laugh.
"No, I'm not kidding," he replies. "Take a look at my sniper rifle here in my bag. I charge $1,000 every time I pull the trigger." The three golfers begin admiring the rifle and the huge scope that is on top. The first guy jokingly says, "I bet I can see my house from here with that thing!"
As a friendly gesture, the hit man hands him the gun and says "Here, take a look."
The first guy takes the gun and looks toward his house through the scope, just past the next hole.
"Hey!" he yells while looking through the scope. "My wife is naked with the neighbor and they are kissing!"
He asks the hit man, "How much for you to pull the trigger?" The hit man replies, "$1,000, just like I said."
The guy then yells, "OK, I'll go for $2,000 worth -- I want you to shoot my neighbor's balls off for making me a cuckold, and I want you to shoot my wife in her mouth for always nagging me!"
With that, the hit man takes his rifle, loads it, and takes aim toward the guy's house.
He is sitting there for a long time, just looking through the scope.
The guy yells, "What the hell are you waiting for?"
The hit man says, "Hold on a sec -- I think I can save you a thousand bucks...."
Posted October 7, 2015