The Female's Stages of Life

Drinking

17 - Wine Coolers
25 - White wine
35 - Red wine
48 - Dom Perignon
66 - Shot of Jack with an Ensure chaser

Excuses for Refusing Dates

17 - Need to wash my hair
25 - Need to wash and condition my hair
35 - Need to color my hair
48 - Need to have Francois color my hair
66 - Need to have Francois color my wig

Favorite Sport

17 - shopping
25 - shopping
35 - shopping
48 - shopping
66 - shopping

Drug

17 - daddy's credit card
25 - boyfriend's credit card
35 - husband's credit card
48 - boss's credit card
66 - Viagra

Definition of a Successful Date

17 - "Burger King"
25 - "Free meal"
35 - "A diamond"
48 - "A bigger diamond"
66 - "Home Alone"

Favorite Fantasy

17 - tall, dark and handsome
25 - tall, dark and handsome with money
35 - tall, dark and handsome with money and a brain
48 - a man with hair
66 - a man

House Pet

17 - Muffy the cat
25 - Unemployed boyfriend
35 - Irish setter
48 - Children from his first marriage
66 - Semi-starving guard dog

What's the Ideal Age to Get Married?

17 - 17
25 - 25
35 - 35
48 - 48
66 - 66

Ideal Date

17 - He offers to pay
25 - He pays
35 - He cooks breakfast the next morning
48 - He cooks breakfast the next morning for the kids
66 - He can chew breakfast

Posted May 9, 2014

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