Redneck Home Security System
Wireless home security systems aren't just for rich folk. Here's how rednecks do it:
1. Go to a second-hand store and buy a pair of men's used work boots. A really big pair.
2. Put them outside your front door on top of a copy of American Rifleman magazine.
3. Put a dog dish beside it. A really big dish.
4. Cut a bite-shaped chunk out of the bottom step.
5. Leave a note on your front door that says: "Bubba, big Mike and me have gone to get more ammunition. Back in a half hr. Oh, and don't disturb the Pit Bulls -- they's been ornery lately."
6. Pop a cold one and relax!
Posted January 5, 2006