Paybacks Are Hell

From my files, in the mid-90s.


The Pope, Billy Graham, and Oral Roberts were in a three-way plane crash over the Atlantic Ocean. They all arrived the Pearly Gates together.

"Oh! This is terrible!" exclaimed St. Peter. "I know you guys think that we summoned you here, but this is just one of those coincidences that happen. We were going to help all of you land once you got where you were going." St. Peter was fretting. "Your quarters just aren't ready. We can't take you in, but we can't send you back."

Then he got an idea. He picked up the phone, "Lucifer, this is Pete. Hey, I got these three guys up here. They're ours, but we weren't expecting them and we gotta fix the place up for 'em. I was hoping you could put them up for a while. It'll only be a couple of days. I'll owe you one."

Reluctantly, the devil agreed.

Two days later...

"Pete, this is Lucifer. Hey, you gotta come get these three clowns."

"What's wrong?" asked St. Peter.

"Well, this Pope guy is forgiving everybody. This Graham fellow is saving everybody. And this fella Roberts -- he's raising money to buy a central air conditioning unit."

Posted June 30, 2005

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