Painting Her Portrait
Mrs. Johnson was the wife of a successful business owner, and he didn't have much time for her. On her birthday, however, he gave her a special gift: to have her portrait painted by a famous artist.
When the artist arrived and set up for the sitting, she told him, "Paint me with diamond earrings, a diamond necklace, emerald bracelets and a large ruby brooch."
"But madam," he said. "You are not wearing any of those things."
"I know," said Mrs. Johnson. "As I'm sure my husband told you, my health is not good and I don't have long to live. As I'm sure he didn't tell you, my husband is having an affair with his secretary."
"Uh..." the painter stammers, unsure what to say.
"So when I die I'm sure he will marry her," she continues, "and I want the bitch to go nuts looking for all that jewelry."
Posted August 3, 2015