Order in the Court

A friend of mine in the Pacific Northwest has a friend who's a lawyer. The lawyer had told her of a couple of courtroom pranks he had pulled, and she was kind enough to share them with me. I, of course, knowing pure genius when I saw it, immediately asked if I could give this wider distribution. He agreed, with the not-exactly-unreasonable request that I not include his name.

There are three parts -- this will be continued in the next two entries.

- - -

Lawyers can be pretty danged fun sometimes.

About 8 years ago, I had not yet discovered the joy of having buttons to hold my braces on. I was given to wearing the snap-on type.

One day during a closing argument in which I had the jury raptly listening to my every word, I engaged in my habit of putting my thumbs into my braces and tugging. One of the braces snapped free and struck me in the head, narrowly missing my eye. I was a bit surprised by this turn of events and must have had quite a look of astonishment on my face. As my vision and hearing slowly cleared I became aware of the entire courtroom howling with laughter. The prosecutor, who had been standing near the witness box to get a better view of an exhibit I was flailing with, was nearly on the floor.

Even the judge, ever professionally humorless, allowed a smile to pass across his face like the sun on a gloomy meadow.

I won the case.

Posted June 11, 2010

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