No More Animal Testing!
The National Institutes of Health has announced that they will no longer be using lab rats for medical experimentation, since they've found a better substitute.
After exaustive research, researchers have found that lawyers make better experimental subjects.
The top four advantages are:
1. There are now more attorneys than there are rats.
2. The medical researchers don't become as emotionally attached to the attorneys, as sometimes happens with rats.
3. "Animal rights" activists agreed to stop their protests if labs switched.
4. No matter how hard you try, there are some things that rats just won't do.
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Even though I strongly discourage people to comment on these items (they're just jokes: I don't need to engage in philosophical discussions), I couldn't resist this comment from a reader in Germany:
"The labs already returned to using rats again: It is much easier to transfer research results from experiments with rats to human conditions than with lawyers."
Right he is....
Posted August 20, 2010 8:00 AM
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