New Lifestyle Drugs

Studying the applications from drug companies to the FDA, we can get a glimpse at the new drugs coming to market in coming months. They include:

Flipitor
Increases life expectancy of commuters by controlling road rage and the urge to flip off other drivers.

Antiboyotics
When administered to teenage girls, is highly effective in improving grades, freeing up phone lines, and reducing money spent on make-up.

St. Mom's Wort
Plant extract that treats mom's depression by rendering preschoolers unconscious for up to six hours.

Buyagra
Injectable stimulant taken prior to shopping. Increases potency and duration of spending spree.

JackAsspirin
Relieves the headache caused by a man who can't remember your birthday, anniversary or phone number.

Ragamet
When administered to a husband, provides the same irritation as ragging on him all weekend, saving the wife the time and trouble of doing it herself.

Posted June 17, 2006

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