My Medical Checkup

I recently picked a new primary care physician. After two visits and exhaustive lab tests, he said I was doing "fairly well" for my age.

A little concerned about that comment, I couldn't resist asking him, "Do you think I'll live to be 90?"

He asked, "Well, do you smoke tobacco or drink beer?"

"Oh no," I replied, "I've never done either."

Then he asked, "Do you eat rib-eye steaks and bar-b-qued ribs?

I said, "No, I've heard that all "red meat" is very unhealthful!"

"Do you spend a lot of time in the sun, like playing golf?" he asked.

"No, I don't," I said.

He said, "Do you gamble, drive fast cars, or fool around with sexy people?"

"No," I said, "I don't do any of those things."

He looked at me and said, "Then why in hell do you want to live to be 90?"

Posted July 22, 2013

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