Lessons from Aging

As I get older, I realize I'm getting wiser. Some of the lessons I've learned over the years:

1. I talk to myself because sometimes I need expert advice.

2. Sometimes I roll my eyes out loud.

3. I don't need anger management; I need people to stop pissing me off.

4. My people skills are just fine; it's my tolerance of idiots that needs work.

5. The biggest lie I tell myself is, "I don't need to write that down; I'll remember it."

6. When I was a child, I thought nap time was punishment. Now it's like a mini vacation.

7. The day the world runs out of wine is just too terrible to think about.

8. Duct tape can't fix stupid, but it can muffle the sound.

9. Wouldn't it be great if we could put ourselves in the dryer for ten minutes and come out wrinkle-free and three sizes smaller?

10. At my age, "getting lucky" means walking into a room and remembering what I went in there for.

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From the newly reborn Humournet -- one of the first joke email lists on the Internet, now found on Facebook.

Posted November 30, 2015

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