Laws of Golf

Passed along by my friend Hy in Redondo Beach, Calif. My guess is he can relate to much of this....

Golfer: Do you think I can get there with a 5-iron?
Caddy: Eventually.

Golfer: Well Caddy, How do you like my game?
Caddy: Very good, sir! But personally I prefer golf.

Golfer: Well, I have never played this badly before!
Caddy: I didn't realize you had played before, sir.

Golfer: Caddy, Do you think my game is improving?
Caddy: Oh yes, sir! You miss the ball much closer than you used to.

Golfer: Please stop checking your watch all the time, caddy. It's distracting!
Caddy: This isn't a watch, sir. It's a compass.

Golfer: Caddy, do you think it is a sin to play golf on Sunday?
Caddy: The way you play, sir, it's a crime any day of the week!

Golfer: This golf is a funny game.
Caddy: It's not supposed to be.

Judge: Do you understand the nature of an oath?
Boy: Do I? I'm your caddie, remember!

Golfer: That can't be my ball, caddy. It looks far too old.
Caddy: It's been a long time since we started, sir.

Golfer: That's good for one long drive and a putt.
Caddy (after ball travels only one meter): And now for one hell of a putt.

Friendly golfer (to player searching for lost ball): What sort of a ball was it?
Caddie (butting in): A brand new one -- never been properly hit yet!

Golfer: Caddiemaster, that boy isn't even eight years old.
Caddiemaster: Better that way, sir. He probably can't count past ten.

Posted May 15, 2004

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