Jesus Saves

I was looking at an old issue of now apparently defunct God Laughs and this one stood out. I remember it going around at the time, but I got a pretty big laugh again when I saw who submitted it to them: my wife!

An Irishman was sitting in a bar, feeling the ache in his leg from a war wound, when he noticed Jesus was sitting several seats down, nursing a beer. "Hey," he said to the barman, "is that Jesus down there?"

The bartender nodded, so the Irishman told him to give Jesus an Irish whiskey, on his tab.

The next patron to come in was an ailing Italian with a hunched back who moved very slowly. He shuffled up to the barstool and asked for a glass of Chianti. He also looked down the bar and asked if that was Jesus sitting at the end of the bar. The bartender nodded, so the Italian said to give Him a glass of Chianti too.

The third patron to enter the bar was a redneck, who swaggered into the bar and hollered, "Barkeep, set me up a cold one! Hey, is that God's Boy down there...?" The barkeep nodded, so the redneck told him to give Jesus a cold one too.

As Jesus got up to leave, he walked over to the Irishman and touched him and said, "For your kindness, you are healed!" The Irishman felt the strength come back to his leg, so he got up and danced a jig out the door.

Jesus touched the Italian and said "For your kindness, you are healed!" The Italian felt his back straighten, so he raised his hands above his head and did a flip out the door. Jesus walked toward the redneck.

The redneck jumped back. "Don't touch me!" he screamed. "I'm on disability!"

Posted October 17, 2012

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