Heard During Colonoscopy
A physician claimed that the following are actual comments made by his patients (predominately male) while he was performing their colonoscopies:
- I usually don't do this on the first date.
- "Take it easy, Doc. You're boldly going where no man has gone before!"
- "Find Amelia Earhart yet?"
- "Can you hear me now?"
- "Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet?"
- "You know, in Arkansas, we're now legally married."
- "Any sign of the trapped miners, Chief?"
- "You put your left hand in, you take your left hand out, you put your left and in and you shake it all about...."
- "Hey! Now I know how a Muppet feels!"
- "If your hand doesn't fit, you must quit!"
- "Hey Doc, let me know if you find my dignity."
- "You used to be an executive at Enron, didn't you?"
And the best one of them all...
- "Could you write a note for my wife saying that, in your considered medical opinion, my head is not up there?"
Posted January 13, 2012