Jumbo Joke: Humor the Way You Like It

Heard During Colonoscopy

A physician claimed that the following are actual comments made by his patients (predominately male) while he was performing their colonoscopies:

• I usually don't do this on the first date.

• "Take it easy, Doc. You're boldly going where no man has gone before!"

• "Find Amelia Earhart yet?"

• "Can you hear me now?"

• "Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet?"

• "You know, in Arkansas, we're now legally married."

• "Any sign of the trapped miners, Chief?"

• "You put your left hand in, you take your left hand out, you put your left and in and you shake it all about...."

• "Hey! Now I know how a Muppet feels!"

• "If your hand doesn't fit, you must quit!"

• "Hey Doc, let me know if you find my dignity."

• "You used to be an executive at Enron, didn't you?"

  And the best one of them all...

• "Could you write a note for my wife saying that, in your considered medical opinion, my head is not up there?"

  Posted January 13, 2012 8:00 AM

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