Guess Who's Coming to Dinner?

by Leon Schwarzbaum

This evening the doorbell rang. We live in a predominantly Jewish suburban neighborhood of single family houses, a demographic fact known far and wide. I opened the door and was greeted by a nicely dressed man.

"I have come to bring Jesus to your home," he said.

I reacted almost immediately and asked, "Is he coming for dinner?"

The man said, "He will come any time you are ready."

A-ha, I had a live one. "Well, tonight we're having a stir fry. Does Jesus like chicken?" I asked. The man's eyes glazed slightly. "I don't know if he still keeps kosher, after all these years," I continued, "but this is a kosher home, so he'll be able to eat."

He gulped, "What?"

"You mean Jesus Christ, don't you?" I asked. He nodded. I continued, "Born in Bethlehem?" He nodded and started to back away from my door. I smiled and said, "If that's the guy, he's Jewish." As he started to turn away, I said, "You're invited too, but no butter on your dinner roll," and the guy almost ran down the walk.

My wife asked me who was at the door and I told her, "Some friend of Jesus."

She knows me. She shrugged. "And did you invite him in?" she asked.

I nodded, "Sure. I invited him and Jesus to dinner, but the guy ran away."

She walked back into the kitchen and said over her shoulder, "You don't speak Aramaic, dummy. Jesus would have a lousy evening here."

I told you, she knows me. I forgot all about the language problem.

- - -

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(I've added a byline because I got credible information -- from a reader who knows the author, who contacted me. Leon Schwarzbaum is a freelance feature writer, and I offered to link this to his web site, if he wished. "I once had a website," he replied, "just as I once had an active Facebook page, but, alas, the effort of keeping them up to date was too much for the benefits derived.")

Posted July 30, 2010

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