"God Laughs" Rejects
A good friend of mine is a minister. Dr. Rev. Rus Jeffrey also has a mailing list, called "God Laughs" -- all religious humor, all the time.
When I see "good" religious humor, I'll often send it to him, but there are often items that are a bit too rude for a minister to send out. I'll often say "I'll bet you won't use this one on GL.net!" and he'll often reply that I'm right. I won't say all of the following short items were really rejected for GL, but I suspect most of them would be....
A little boy got on the bus, sat next to a man reading a book and noticed the man had his collar on backwards. The little boy asked why he wore his collar that way.
The man, who was a priest, said, "I am a Father."
The little boy replied, "My daddy doesn't wear his collar like that."
The priest looked up from his book and answered, "I am the Father of many."
The boy said, "My dad has 4 boys, 4 girls, and two grandchildren, and he doesn't wear his collar that way."
The priest, getting very impatient, said, "I am the father of hundreds!", and then went back to reading his book.
The little boy sat quietly but as he left the bus he leaned over and said, "Well, maybe you should wear your pants backwards instead."
A very zealous soul-winning young preacher recently came upon a farmer working in his field. Being concerned about the farmer's soul the preacher asked the man, "Are you laboring in the vineyard of the Lord, my good man?"
Not even looking at the preacher and continuing his work the farmer replied, "Naw, these are soybeans."
"You don't understand," said the preacher. "Are you a Christian?"
With the same amount of interest as his previous answer the farmer said, "Nope, my name is Jones. Jim Christian's farm is a mile south of here."
The young determined preacher tried again asking the farmer, "Are you lost?"
"Naw! I've lived here all my life," answered the farmer.
"Are you prepared for the resurrection?" the frustrated preacher asked.
This caught the farmer's attention and he asked, "When's it gonna be?"
Thinking he had accomplished something the young preacher replied, "It could be today, tomorrow, or the next day."
Taking a handkerchief from his back pocket and wiping his brow, the farmer remarked, "Well, don't mention it to my wife. She don't get out much and she'll wanna go all three days."
Three boys are in the school yard bragging about their fathers. The first boy says, "My dad scribbles a few words on a piece of paper. He calls it a poem and they give him $50."
The second boy says, "That's nothing. My dad scribbles a few words on a piece of paper. He calls it a song and they give him $100."
The third boy says, "I got you both beat. My dad scribbles a few words on a piece of paper. He calls it a sermon, and it takes eight people to collect all the money!"
Posted August 4, 2004