Get Out of Jail Free, Too

Customers have sent in a lot of stories about my Get Out Of Hell Free cards. This one is too good not to share. It's from Khevron in Alaska.

I'm a corrections officer in Northwest Arctic Alaska, at a small local facility (12 bed). Your recent story about the lawyer handing GOOHF cards out and them getting mistaken for Get Out of Jail Free cards brought it to mind.

I was working an evening shift with another officer, and there were some prisoners playing Monopoly in the day room using a recently donated game. We looked at our duty board and discovered one of the prisoners was due to get out of jail for "Time Served" a couple of hours ago.

Obviously, he wasn't tracking his time that closely, and I stood up to start the "release" process. At that very moment the prisoner in question stood up from the Monopoly table brandishing the "Get Out of Jail Free" card at my window and grinning. I immediately opened the day room door, accepted his card and told him to "roll 'em up"! (jail-speak for "get ready to go"). He said "Really"? I said "yes" and he went into his cell to gather his things together.

A few minutes later I opened the door again to get him out and he wasn't ready. "Are you going?" I asked. "You were just kidding right?" he replied. I told him I was serious and that he should get out. As he went and got his stuff, other players were showing cards in my direction. I told them "no, only the first one counts" and released the prisoner without another word.

Posted August 7, 2015

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