Evolutionary Theory

I see a lot of jokes. I've been online since 1983, and very often the same ones come and go in waves. A good example follows -- I've had it in my file for years, but a "newer" version embellishes it greatly. Yes, it's the Evolutionary Theory of Jokes.

Old version:

A woman, getting married for the fourth time, goes to a bridal shop and asks for a white dress.

"You can't wear white," reminds the sales clerk. "You've been married three times already."

"Of course I can, I'm a virgin!" says the bride.

"Impossible", says the sales clerk.

"Unfortunately not," the bride explained. "My first husband was a psychologist. All he wanted to do was talk about it. My second husband was a gynecologist. All he wanted to do was look at it. My third husband was a stamp collector -- God I miss him"

And the new version:

A man married a woman who had previously divorced ten husbands. On their wedding night she told her new husband, "Please be gentle, I'm still a virgin."

"What?" cried the puzzled groom. "How can that be if you've been married ten times?"

"Well, Husband #1 was a sales representative; he kept telling me how great it was going to be.

"Husband #2 was in software services; he was never really sure how it was supposed to function, but he said he'd look into it and get back to me.

"Husband #3 was from field services; he said everything checked out diagnostically but he just couldn't get the system up.

"Husband #4 was in telemarketing; even though he knew he had the order, he didn't know when he would be able to deliver.

"Husband #5 was an engineer; he understood the basic process but wanted three years to research, implement, and design a new state-of-the-art method.

"Husband #6 was from finance and administration; he thought he knew how, but he wasn't sure whether it was his job or not.

"Husband #7 was in marketing; although he had a nice product, he was never sure how to position it.

"Husband #8 was a psychologist; all he ever did was talk about it.

"Husband #9 was a gynecologist; all he did was look at it.

"Husband #10 was a stamp collector; all he ever did was --- God! I miss him! But now that I've married you, I'm really excited!"

"Good," said the new husband. "But, why?"

"You're a lawyer. This time I know I'm gonna get screwed!"

Posted March 9, 2011

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