The following is an actual "position wanted" ad that appeared in the National Post in Toronto, Canada, in March 2001. It's confirmed real: I've seen it.
FORMER MARIJUANA SMUGGLER
Having successfully completed a ten year sentence, incident-free, for importing 75 tons of marijuana into the United States, I am now seeking a legal and legitimate means to support myself and my family.
BUSINESS EXPERIENCE: owned and operated a successful fishing business -- multi-vessel, one airplane, one island and processing facility. Simultaneously owned and operated a fleet of tractor-trailer trucks conducting business in the western United States. During this time I also co-owned and participated in the executive level management of 120 people worldwide in a successful pot smuggling venture with revenues in excess of US$100 million annually. I took responsibility for my own actions, and received a ten year sentence in the United States while others walked free for their cooperation.
ATTRIBUTES: I am an expert in all levels of security; I have extensive computer skills, am personable, outgoing, well-educated, reliable, clean and sober. I have spoken in schools to thousands of kids and parent groups over the past ten years on "the consequences of choice", and received public recognition from the RCMP for community service. I am well-traveled and speak English, French, and Spanish. References available from friends, family, the U.S. District Attorney, etc.
Please direct replies to (National Post Classified, Don Mills, Ont, Canada)
After running the ad, the paper interviewed the man, Brian O'Dea of Toronto. He told the paper he hopes "someone will read that ad and realize, jeez, not only did he operate that scheme, but he did it in secret. That shows tremendous coordinating ability."
Posted May 23, 2014