Don't Piss Off the Judge
An actual judicial order issued last week by a federal judge in Austin, Texas.
FOR THE WESTERN DISTRICT OF TEXAS
THERESA MORRIS, WIFE OF
JOHN COKER, ALLIS-CHALMERS
CORPORATION AND/OR STRATE
DIRECTIONAL DRILLING, INC.,
BE IT REMEMBERED on this day the Court reviewed the files in the above-styled causes, and now enters the following opinion and orders.
Non-parties Lance Langford, Erik Hoover, and Brigham Oil & Gas, L.P. invite the Court to quash subpoenas issued to them on behalf of Jonathan L. Woods, in relation to a matter currently pending in the United States District Court for the Western District of Louisiana, Lafayette-Opelousas Division, because the subpoenas were not properly served, are overly broad and unduly burdensome, and seek privileged information. In response, the Court issues the following invitation of its own:
Greetings and Salutations!
You are invited to a kindergarten party on THURSDAY, SEPTEMBER 1, 2011, at 10:00 a.m. in Courtroom 2 of the United States Courthouse, 200 W. Eighth Street, Austin, Texas.
The party will feature many exciting and informative lessons, including:
- How to telephone and communicate with a lawyer
- How to enter into reasonable agreements about deposition dates
- How to limit depositions to reasonable subject matter
- Why it is neither cute nor clever to attempt to quash a subpoena for technical failures of service when notice is reasonably given; and
- An advanced seminar on not wasting the time of a busy federal judge and his staff because you are unable to practice law at the level of a first year law student.
Invitation to this exclusive event is not RSVP. Please remember to bring a sack lunch! The United States Marshals have beds available if necessary, so you may wish to bring a toothbrush in case the party runs late.
IT IS ORDERED that defense counsel Jonathan L. Woods, and movants' attorney Travis Barton, shall appear in Courtroom 2 of the United States Courthouse, 200 W. Eighth Street, Austin, Texas, on THURSDAY, SEPTEMBER 1, 2011, at 10:00 a.m., for a memorable and exciting event;
IT IS FINALLY ORDERED that Mr. Barton is responsible for notifying Mr. Woods of this order by providing him with a copy by mail or fax on this date.
SIGNED this the 26th day of August 2011.
UNITED STATES DISTRICT JUDGE
(See the order -- PDF, 76K)
Update: We hear from the Texas Lawyer Blog that attorney Travis Barton provided this update: "On August 29, we informed the Court that the underlying case had settled and all issues had been resolved in the week before the Court issued the August 26 order. The Court cancelled the hearing." Opposing attorney Jonathan Woods had no comment.
Posted September 2, 2011
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