Actual Hallmark Rejects 2

There are a lot of parody "Cards rejected by Hallmark" jokes around — including on this site. This is one of a series of cards that were really truly actually put forth by card writers in Hallmark's "Shoebox" division — but rejected by the company — as reported by the Associated Press.

Wedding & Engagement Card

Front: "Marriage is a bond that is unbreakable except by two-thirds of the population."

Inside: "But it's you top-third couples that give the rest of us hope."

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Get-Well Card

Front: A big happy face.

Inside: "Hi! Welcome back from your coma!"

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Christmas Card

Front: "Spread some holiday cheer."

Inside: "Or drink alone. Who am I to judge?"

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Wedding & Engagement Card

Front: "Did I hear wedding bells?"

Inside: "Or was that the natural disaster siren? Sometimes I get them confused. Whatever it was, it was loud. Congratulations ... or take cover!"

Posted April 12, 2013

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