Actual Hallmark Rejects
There are a lot of parody "Cards rejected by Hallmark" jokes around — including on this site. This is one of a series of cards that were really truly actually put forth by card writers in Hallmark's "Shoebox" division — but rejected by the company — as reported by the Associated Press.
Front: "My ex-girlfriend had a cat named Love because she said that's what it gave her."
Inside: "So I called it Bloody Forearms. Hope no one gets you a cat for your birthday."
- - -
Mother's Day Card
Front: "When I think of you, Mom, I swell with pride."
Inside: "At least I hope it's pride. Otherwise, I'm pregnant again."
- - -
Front: "I wanted to give you a body piercing for your birthday."
Inside: "But I didn't think I could get you drunk enough to where you wouldn't feel the stapler!"
Posted April 10, 2013