Actual Hallmark Rejects

There are a lot of parody "Cards rejected by Hallmark" jokes around — including on this site. This is one of a series of cards that were really truly actually put forth by card writers in Hallmark's "Shoebox" division — but rejected by the company — as reported by the Associated Press.

Birthday Card

Front: "My ex-girlfriend had a cat named Love because she said that's what it gave her."

Inside: "So I called it Bloody Forearms. Hope no one gets you a cat for your birthday."

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Mother's Day Card

Front: "When I think of you, Mom, I swell with pride."

Inside: "At least I hope it's pride. Otherwise, I'm pregnant again."

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Birthday Card

Front: "I wanted to give you a body piercing for your birthday."

Inside: "But I didn't think I could get you drunk enough to where you wouldn't feel the stapler!"

Posted April 10, 2013 8:00 AM

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