These are supposedly actual excuse notes from parents (including original spellings) collected by Nisheeth Parekh, University of Texas Medical Branch (Galveston) during a study of parental psychology.
- My son is under a doctor's care and should not take P.E. today. Please execute him.
- Please excuse Lisa for being absent. She was sick and I had her shot.
- Dear School: Please ekscuse John being absent on Jan.28,29,30,31,32, and also 33.
- Please excuse Gloria from Jim today. She is administrating. Please excuse Roland from P.E. for a few days. Yesterday he fell out of a tree and misplaced his hip.
- John has been absent because he had two teeth taken out of his face.
- Carlos was absent yesterday because he was playing football. He was hurt in the growing part.
- Megan could not come to school today because she has been bothered by very close veins.
- Chris will not be in school cus he has an acre in his side.
- Please excuse Ray Friday from school. He has very loose vowels.
- Please excuse Pedro from being absent yesterday. He had
diahre dyrea direathethe shits.
- Please excuse Tommy for being absent yesterday. He had diarrhea and his boots leak.
- Irving was absent yesterday because he missed his bust. Please excuse Jimmy for being. It was his father's fault.
- I kept Billie home to go Christmas shopping because I don't know what size she wear.
- Please excuse Jennifer for missing school yesterday. We forgot to get the Sunday paper off the porch, and when we found it Monday, we thought it was Sunday.
- Sally won't be in school a week from Friday. We have to attend her funeral.
- My daughter was absent yesterday because she was tired. She spent a weekend with the Marines.
- Please excuse Jason for being absent yesterday. He had a cold and could not breed well.
- Please excuse Mary for being absent yesterday. She was in bed with gramps.
- Gloria was absent yesterday as she was having a gangover. Please excuse Burma, she has been sick and under the doctor.
- Maryann was absent December 11-16, because she had a fever, sore throat, headache and upset stomach. Her sister was also sick, fever and sore throat, her brother had a low grade fever and ached all over. I wasn't the best either, sore throat and fever. There must be something going around, her father even got hot last night.
Posted February 24, 2014