Jumbo Joke: Humor the Way You Like It

19th Century Essay Excerpts

Still more goodies from Mark Twain.

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• "He enjoys riding on a philosopher."

• "The leopard is watching his sheep."

• "They had a strawberry vestibule."

• "The men employed by the Gas Company go around and speculate the meter."

• "Her hat is contiguous because she wears it on one side."

• "He preached to an egregious congregation."

• "The captain eliminated a bullet through the man's heart."

• "You should take caution and be precarious."

• "We should endeavor to avoid extremes-like those of wasps and bees."

• "There are a good many donkeys in theological gardens."

• "A verb is something to eat."

• "A circle is a round straight line with a hole in the middle."

• "Things which are equal to each other are equal to anything else."

• "North America is separated by Spain."

• "The principal products of the U.S. is earthquakes and volcanoes."

• "The Rocky Mountains are on the western side of Philadelphia."

• "One of the leading industries of the United States is mollasses, book-covers, numbers, gas, teaching, lumber, manufacturers, paper-making, publishers, coal."

• "Russia is very cold and tyrannical."

• "Hindoostan flows through the Ganges and empties into the Mediterranean Sea."

• "Ireland is called the Emigrant Isle because it is so beautiful and green."

Posted February 11, 2009 8:00 AM