- Your annual breast exam is done at Hooters.
- Directions to your doctor's office include "Take a left at the trailer park."
- The tongue depressors taste faintly of Fudgesicles.
- The only proctologist in the plan is "Gus" from Roto-Rooter.
- The only item listed under Preventative Care Coverage is "An apple a day."
- Your primary care physician is wearing the pants you gave to Goodwill last month.
- "The patient is responsible for 200% of out-of-network charges."
- The only expense covered 100% is "embalming."
- Your Prozac comes in different colors with little M's on them.
- You ask for Viagra, and they give you a Popsicle stick and duct tape.
(This lineup seems to be adapted from the excellent TopFive.com)
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